AAAAAnd we're live!

HI! Welcome to my blog 2.0!

I started back in the end of 2018 over on tumblr but recently I stopped being able to promote it the way I wanted, and my layout became kinda not what I wanted. So, I decided to start over completely (Which sucks a lil, but hopefully within time I can upload my old posts onto this new page.)

Hopefully, if you're reading this, you're from my one of my socials, or one of my amazing friends has shared my page with you! Long story short, I like to talk a lot, so I decided to start a blog like every other young adult woman. Long story, less short, I know I've been through my fair share of yucky moments in life, and I know that in a lot of those I felt so madly alone because people don't talk too much and I wanted to be a voice to at least a miniscule bit of the madness.

Eventually I'll talk more about my life but for now I'll just stick to want you might need to know for this post if you don't already know me. Back in January I began attending church for the first time in my life and started to grow my own relationship with God. In the past few weeks, it's felt like I've reached the first point in my faith where I found myself questioning certain aspects. Thankfully as of about a day ago, I was able to peak up and find myself above water again for the time being rather than drowning.

God did a beautiful thing in my life today.

God raised his voice to catch my attention.

God blessed me with the tiniest window in this pitch black.

A month ago, I gave away the last piece of breathe left in my chest

And it was ripped into oblivion before being thrown into a airy nothing.

I went to a rave, and handed my trust to a man who wasn’t God, and wasn’t my husband.

I spent the last three weeks in a dark place that I haven’t been to in a while, and haven’t been to since I found my relationship with God. I found myself, pulling back from Church because I was afraid and lonely. After leaving ‘U crew’, I kept praying over where I could find that sense of trust of security again, and God continued to tell me to “Go Home.” After understanding that, regardless of how it had felt, that wasn’t my original small group.

When I begin to spin into a state of my depression I find myself isolated, telling myself I need to be better. And when that doesn’t work I resort to deciding it’s too late. By this point, I’ve already decided that I can’t get over hurting them, and being hurt by them. Which is right, only to a certain extent. No, I can’t ‘get over it’. I don’t know if I ever will, but I can take it and hand it to God in hopes that he can take it and turn it into my strength. While I found myself emptied and broken, God saw me and gently rested a hand on my shoulder, knowingly that the pain would lead me back into his arms.